Letting Go
by Blueraingurl
Summary: Yuki Sohma lets go of his feeling, so that Tohru can find her happiness, although Tohru has no idea that he is doing this. Oneshot [Needs Revisions]


**Disclaimer**: I do not own Fruits Basket

_A/N_: I have read up to manga volume 13 I believe, through summaries online and such and I'm so sad at the moment that I had to write this- the obvious fact that Kyou and Tohru are supposed to get together depresses me =( I like Kyou, don't get me wrong, but I wished that Yuki and her would be together- also I know a lot of people prefer Kyou/Tohru from the vibes I get through the internet. Anyways, here's my piece about Yuki because I believe he will never let Tohru know about his growing feelings and eventually let it go because he doesn't want to hurt her. Basically he is saying goodbye to Tohru in this fic about his feeling for her.

**Warnings**: Manga SPOILERS are present, not all spoilers but my take on the manga up to chapter 93 of the manga. Also if you don't like Yuki, you will probably not like this .

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Title: **_Letting Go_**

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"Honda-san," Yuki gently brushed his lips against her feverish forehead, "I . . . I'll never forget you". _'I'll always have you in my heart but it's for the best, I cannot . . . you deserve better . . . it still hurts but it'll get better'._

With those silent thoughts, Sohma Yuki lifted his head and looked at Tohru. Slowly he straightened his shoulders, almost alert because he knew Kyou was there now. He walked past his cousin.

"Be good to her," Yuki spoke suddenly as he looked into Kyou's surprised orange eyes. Kyou saw Yuki's eyes cloud for a moment but then it had disappeared as quickly. He nodded instead of starting a fight, letting his cousin Yuki leave peacefully for once.

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Yuki felt almost suffocated by his room, so he decided to walk toward the woods. He was still worried about Tohru's cold but Hatori had come earlier and given her medicine.

Slowly as he felt the distance between Shigure's house and he lengthen, he raised his hand towards the tree.

He felt sadness deepen within him as he thought about how it had gotten this far. When Tohru had come to live with them, he had been cold and indifferent. He was still quiet and calm but it was not the icy façade he had built up through the years. With Tohru's presence, he had felt respite from the utter loneliness he had felt. In that way, Yuki knew Tohru had given him so much already . . . even at his young age, she had helped him along. When he was young, he knew he was different because of the curse; Akito had continuously reminded him that he was worthless . . . but then he had found a young lost Tohru – a memory that had recently surfaced as he asked Tohru about the baseball cap she had with her, she then preceded to tell him the story of when she was young and had been lost and how a young boy had lead her home and given the cap to her. And then slowly Yuki understood that he was that boy and how he had felt he was needed that time, after feeling worthless for so long, that little girl had helped him in his darkest hour.

And then later on in his life, Tohru had come again into his life giving him much needed air and a sense of self-worth. _'She had done so much for me; I will never be able to repay her kindness. That is why, that is why I cannot, I can't . . . because I can never be with someone who had given me so much because I want to give just as much and I will never be able to . . . not to Honda-san because she had already done so much'._

Yuki then remembered those moments he had observed between Kyou and Tohru. They were growing closer everyday, he was not jealous, rather it was bittersweet for him. Because at times, he found himself wistfully wishing that he had the qualities that Kyou had . . .

Also his interactions with Tohru had lessened over time. He wasn't purposely avoiding her but somehow that was how it became . . . his time with her was naturally decreasing that she had not taken notice.

'_Still it hurts,_' Yuki thought as he leaned into the tree, '_but I wish for her happiness'_.

Yuki knew he was also changing, changing for the better. He had also made friends with Manabe and Machi at school. Then he remembered what Machi had said to someone about him "he's a lonely person although he is surrounded by many people [1]". That comment had surprised him greatly because no one had ever thought that way about him except for Tohru.

This only reminded Yuki that he was changing for the better, that interacting with people was becoming more natural for him.

He knew he had to tell Tohru that he was that boy from long ago, but now as he looked around his surrounding, he knew it was unnecessary . . . because it would only confuse Tohru more and he didn't want to hurt her in anyway.

Leaning against the tree, Yuki felt tears fall, "things will come naturally for Kyou and Honda-san . . . when snow melts, spring will come . . . it'll be okay".

Night had given into day, as Yuki realized that the sun was rising . . . he had been out there for a long time but seeing the horizon he felt better because this meant another day was beginning.

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References: [1] MsoNormal Manga description/translation of chapter 89.


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